better late than never.

day six of forty-five.

Days three, four and five were wrapped in love and to be honest, I had more to feel than to say. That said, this is meant to be a daily commitment and for that I have to take accountability where I fell off with no excuses.

And to be honest, that’s okay with me right now.

But, let’s dial it back a few days, to a joyful Thursday in Brooklyn. I had the pleasure of attending my second Editaurial journaling workshop and she really never fails to disappoint. We explored our connection to our inner child — but instead of it coming from this very emotional, or daunting place of shadow work, we connected from a space of pleasure, inviting play into our practice.

Picture this: you pull onto a tree-lined block in Brooklyn, except it’s winter so naked branches dance in the night sky above your head. You enter into an all glass storefront minimally furnished with soft tones. You settle into an intimate gathering of 6 incredible humans, Tauri (host) being one of them. Spread neatly before you on a community table are magazines, decorative paper, stickers, art remnants, glue and scissors. Right in front of you is a blank journal waiting to be filled with memories… thoughts… feelings. You listen attentively as everyone goes around sharing their name and a detail about themselves through an ice breaker before introducing yourself to the group by doing the same. Once acquainted, the fun begins.

Tauri took us through a series of blind contour drawing, journal prompts and collaging; each activity on brand with the theme of the workshop. The prompts gave me the space to experience warm, fuzzy feelings while revisiting old, still healing wounds. I felt safe to be myself and share some of my more vulnerable parts to (mostly) complete strangers. This is just the magic of these workshops. Journaling itself is a solo practice — an outlet for expression and a tool for a deeper understanding of and connection to ourselves. Tauri presents a way to strengthen this practice by introducing it to the power of a group setting. Community has been a huge theme for me since 2020 and each year messages surrounding it become more frequent and more clear. Everything in my being knew this workshop was where I was meant to be at that time. It was, and still is, very aligned.

It’s actually pretty funny how much I needed this workshop without even knowing it. My current project keeps me away from home during the week and we’ve been getting closer to shooting and therefore more into the nitty gritty of things. Because of this, I felt myself slipping into a dissociative state. This is a habit I’m working on, but it’s something I usually result to in order to deal with high stress situations in a way that least affects my mental and emotional wellbeing. It’s a protection method I’ve practiced in my professional life that is certainly not my favorite way of coping. This workshop helped to pull me back into the present moment during the week — a key part.

Weekends have become my place of solace where I can indulge in romance, community and play. Weekdays on the other hand are usually long, tedious and filled with non-stop work. But I was reminded that not only is it okay to indulge in play during the week, it’s critical for my mental health. The more stress in my week, the more my heart yearns for play. Thankfully I am a part of a great team that values work/life balance, but I’m still adjusting to this reality as many of my past work experiences were not this way. I’m learning ways to decompress after my work day in a way that is pleasurable and brings me childlike joy.

Right now, that looks like dancing around my hotel room in my underwear. It looks like catching up on a favorite tv show, podcast or Youtube channel. It looks like cracking jokes on facetime or in phone calls with my lover or friends while I eat dinner. And to be honest, it will soon look like collaging in a journal. These are some of the activities that I can trust turning to when I need a quick and easy way to invite play into my day. I hope they’re ones I can remember on the dark days too.

💗